Have you ever felt like you could bash someone? Right over the head with a brick? If you haven’t, I don’t think you can be human as we all get to the end of our tethers sometimes and feel like we could cheerfully inflict bodily harm of some sort on another. Most of us don’t do it because we learn discipline and self control as we grow up. By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have learned how to deal with strong emotion and walk away from a tense and difficult situation. Most of us, not all.
When my oldest son was a baby, he cried all the time. I was completely inexperienced with babies, as I was the oldest in my family and we did not know anyone with a baby. Gregory cried ceaselessly from the day after his birth. Even the nurses in the hospital would not keep him in the nursery because they did not know what to do with this baby that cried so much. When I took him there, in total exhaustion in the early hours of the morning on my second and third nights in hospital, the nurses called me within an hour.
The speaker in my room crackled, “Mrs Cheadle, your baby is crying.” In other words, come and fetch him we can’t be bother with such a troublesome child.
I got hardly any sleep at all. I rocked him, fed him and pushed him around in his little trolley all night long.
It did not change when we went home. Gregory cried and cried and cried. I tried everything, I bathed him several times a day, I fed him and I drove him around the streets in the car. After two weeks of this, I was so exhausted that I can remember sitting in the rocking chair, feeding my baby, and feeling great empathy for mothers who bashed their babies. I never felt that I want to hurt my baby but I could understand how a person could be driven to it, especially if faced with other problems, like a lack of money or an abusive husband.
Now that Gregory is older and has showed his true colours and inquiring and industrious mind, I think he may have been perpetually overstimulated, although I tried to follow the instructions in the books about keeping the room dark, quiet and plain. I think Gregory just absorbed to much and it overwhelmed his mind and spirit.
My sister recently had a baby and her girl-child is the total opposite from my son. I have yet to hear Coco Rose cry for longer than 30 seconds and that is once in a blue moon. I certainly don’t have to worry about Cath’s mental health with such an angel child.
How about you? Did you have a difficult baby? Did you ever feel as if you could bash someone but walk away, or not walk away?
This post was written for Linda G Hill’s Saturday stream of consciousness challenge. You can join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-9-19/
Have a happy Saturday.