#SOCS – Bash

Have you ever felt like you could bash someone? Right over the head with a brick? If you haven’t, I don’t think you can be human as we all get to the end of our tethers sometimes and feel like we could cheerfully inflict bodily harm of some sort on another. Most of us don’t do it because we learn discipline and self control as we grow up. By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have learned how to deal with strong emotion and walk away from a tense and difficult situation. Most of us, not all.

When my oldest son was a baby, he cried all the time. I was completely inexperienced with babies, as I was the oldest in my family and we did not know anyone with a baby. Gregory cried ceaselessly from the day after his birth. Even the nurses in the hospital would not keep him in the nursery because they did not know what to do with this baby that cried so much. When I took him there, in total exhaustion in the early hours of the morning on my second and third nights in hospital, the nurses called me within an hour.

The speaker in my room crackled, “Mrs Cheadle, your baby is crying.” In other words, come and fetch him we can’t be bother with such a troublesome child.

I got hardly any sleep at all. I rocked him, fed him and pushed him around in his little trolley all night long.

It did not change when we went home. Gregory cried and cried and cried. I tried everything, I bathed him several times a day, I fed him and I drove him around the streets in the car. After two weeks of this, I was so exhausted that I can remember sitting in the rocking chair, feeding my baby, and feeling great empathy for mothers who bashed their babies. I never felt that I want to hurt my baby but I could understand how a person could be driven to it, especially if faced with other problems, like a lack of money or an abusive husband.

Now that Gregory is older and has showed his true colours and inquiring and industrious mind, I think he may have been perpetually overstimulated, although I tried to follow the instructions in the books about keeping the room dark, quiet and plain. I think Gregory just absorbed to much and it overwhelmed his mind and spirit.

My sister recently had a baby and her girl-child is the total opposite from my son. I have yet to hear Coco Rose cry for longer than 30 seconds and that is once in a blue moon. I certainly don’t have to worry about Cath’s mental health with such an angel child.

How about you? Did you have a difficult baby? Did you ever feel as if you could bash someone but walk away, or not walk away?

This post was written for Linda G Hill’s Saturday stream of consciousness challenge. You can join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-9-19/

Have a happy Saturday.

Roberta

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28 thoughts on “#SOCS – Bash

  1. When my first baby was two months old I was in West Middlesex hospital ( the same hospital I hated when I had my tonsils out! ) with him as he had to have a hernia operation. Stuck in a children’s ward with a crying baby who miraculously stopped crying when the nurse took him out of my arms – I felt totally useless!

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  2. Our first daughter was very difficult. She slept little, and had two zombies as parents because of it! But it got better – though maybe there is a reason other than nature for the 5+ year gap to our second πŸ˜‰

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    1. I can relate to the child not sleeping too, Clive. Greg would not sleep at night. The doctor said he had his days and nights confused. That was not helpful to me. Terence slept in another room as he was working, poor man. Thanks for sharing, Clive.

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  3. As a mom, I can totally relate to this, Robbie. My son was a crier, my daughter, nothing. I think there were more adults I wanted to bash. They all had the answers. But they didn’t. Maybe it’s just a boy thing!

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    1. Thank you, Dorinda. Yes, there is always a lot of advice available from people who had angel babies who never cried. You feel inadequate enough as the mother of a crier without being told you are bringing it on yourself by doing everything wrong. I can relate for sure.

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  4. Oh! Robbie do I ever my eldest cried day and night too. He was Prem and was in intensive care for a long while but cried a lot as he got stronger. Long story short he is 45yrs old now, he is and always was very intelligent and clever ..he is brilliant . The other two were quite different. Our lads are just clever boys who were bored πŸ’œπŸ’œ

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  5. Luckily I had a mother of 3 across the hall from me…her door was always open, and she always seemed to have some magic trick to calm a screaming child. Even as a 5 year old, my older one could sustain a tantrum for hours. She is still persistent, and it serves her well in the working world (without the tantrum attached) My younger one is as easily distracted as me, so it was a totally different experience. (K)

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  6. not had children myself but worked with them for many years so as a result I have been on a roster for months for the mother of a colic baby. We did shifts when she needed a break. She would signal whether we should take the child out so she could sleep or stay there while she escaped.

    Then a couple I’d known many years, neither daughter would sleep without endless crying and demands. By the time they were 6 and 4 both parents confessed murderous inclinations. I kept the girls for several days warning the neighbours of what I would do. They were smart fun kids during the day but come bedtime the wailing would reach high pitch. I let them go and after 3 nights of no response either to reinforce, console or admonish their tears evaporated and they slept through …

    But any parent who claimed they had never had a thought to harm their child rang alarm bells for me … they all know how to push their parents buttons and only a true saint wouldn’t think of harm

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  7. My eldest cried constantly as a baby, then when he grew up he never stopped talking. It’s only in recent years (he’s 24 now) that I haven’t wanted to bash him when he starts before I’ve had my morning coffee. Mostly because I rarely see him that early. πŸ˜‰

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    1. Apologies, Linda, your comment vanished into my spam folder. I understand that completely. Greg is 16 and he still wakes my up a few times a night every second night or so. It is very exhausting. He still goes off the deep end with his anxieties and OCD fairly often.

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