#Newbook – revised blurb for Through the Nethergate

I have been working on the blurb for Through the Nethergate with a fellow blogger, Linda G Hill from https://lindaghillfiction.com/. I had no idea there was so much to learn about writing a blurb, although, in retrospect, it doesn’t surprise me as everything in the writing and publishing game is an interesting adventure. I am very grateful to Linda for her assistance with this. You should go over and visit her blog, she has written some great books and hosts some fun prompts too.

The new blurb is as follows:

Can one girl banish evil?

Margaret, a girl born with second sight, has the unique ability to bring ghosts back to life. When her parents die suddenly, she’s placed in the care of her grandfather to overcome her devastating loss. But the cellar of her grandfather’s ancient inn is haunted by an evil spirit of its own.

In the town of Bungay, a black dog wanders the streets, enslaving the ghosts of those who have died unnatural deaths. When Margaret arrives, these ghosts congregate at the inn, hoping she can free them from the clutches of Hugh Bigod, the 12th century ghost who has drawn them away from Heaven’s White Light in his animal guise.

With the help of her grandfather and the spirits she has befriended, Margaret sets out to defeat Hugh Bigod, only to discover he wants to use her for his own ends – to take over Hell itself.

A melding of fiction and historical facts, this fast-paced story will keep you riveted.

Let me know what you think in the comments below.

NEVERGATE draft 1

 

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24 thoughts on “#Newbook – revised blurb for Through the Nethergate

  1. I had to read the third paragraph twice to realize Hugh was the same as the black dog. Changing “animal guise” to “canine guise” would make it crystal clear. (I know, it may be ONLY me who stumbled there.)

    I think the blurb is really good. I was ready to buy the book (seriously) until the last three words, “keep you riveted.” The blurb up to that point is fresh, exciting, and gripping with standout words like “clutches” and “enslaved.” But then the last three words are cliche. I LOVE the “melding of fiction and historical facts” just before that.

    In my opinion it’s REALLY good, and ALMOST a perfect blurb.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It sounds very intriguing, Robbie, although not knowing the whole story, it is difficult to tell how much you’ve told us and how much you’ve left out. I am one of those people who prefer a “less is more” approach rather than risk telling too much of the story and people thinking that they know already where things are going…
    Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Olga. There is a lot left out although I have hinted at it with the ending about taking over Hell. That was intended to hint that there was a lot more to come. Hugh Bigod is actually not the main villain of this tale.

      Like

  3. Great blurb, Robbie, that made me want to keep reading. You got some excellent suggestions. My only addition would be to think about the line: “bring ghosts back to life.” I wasn’t sure what that meant. Can she bring dead people back to life? And if so, why doesn’t she bring her parents back? Or does she raise ghosts from their graves? This is where my head goes, but it may just be me. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah. I see. Yeah, you don’t want to bog it down with explanations, and maybe it was just me since no one else commented. Maybe “earthbound ghosts” or something like that, which would distinguish them from souls that have moved on. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  4. The story sounds intriguing, for sure! I concur with other suggestions here — “canine” instead of “animal,” if Hugh is indeed the black dog. And like Diana I found myself wondering about bringing ghosts back to life. Does Margaret have this ability all along, or does she discover it only after going to live with her grandfather? Finally, I’m not keen on blurbs that tell the reader what they’ll feel. Blurb writing is hard, but you’ve got the elements here; you just have to shuffle and tweak.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m looking forward to your book, Robbie. I think everyone who commented had excellent points to take into consideration. My advice would be to delete the entire last sentence that beings with “A blend of fiction and historical fact.”

    If you’re including historical fact, that’s something you can share in the forward. I’ve always disliked blurbs that tell me how I will feel when reading (i.e, will keep you riveted).

    Look at the sentence prior to that:
    With the help of her grandfather and the spirits she has befriended, Margaret sets out to defeat Hugh Bigod, only to discover he wants to use her for his own ends – to take over Hell itself.

    You can’t get much more powerful than ending the blurb with “to take over Hell itself.”

    That has impact. “Wow!” value. That’s where I would stop it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A great blurb, Robbie, are the ghosts, evil spirit and spirits the same kind in your story or you don’t want to repeat the same description?
    I know it’s hard to write a blurb. I read many instructions about the number of words and answer the 5 (?) questions when writing a blurb.

    Liked by 1 person

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