I have always been a lonely soul. Ever since I was a small child, I liked to be left alone to get on with my latest creative obsession or to read my most recent book. I never liked being interfered with and I have never appreciated being disturbed unexpectedly. Unplanned play dates or friends dropping by equaled a ruined afternoon or day for me. I am not spontaneous. I can remember popping into my bedroom to read a few pages of my book in the middle of a play date because I had lost interest in the friend and become frustrated with the games she wanted to play.
The reason for this was simple. Friends didn’t like doing the things I enjoyed for the same periods of time. I was a focused and creative soul who could sit all day sewing bits of material together and gluing them to a plastic margarine tub to make a baby’s carry cot or moulding plaster of paris into a shape and then fastidiously painting it to become a Disney princess masterpiece. I made corn dolls, tomato box doll houses, paper dolls, Barbie doll clothes and various sculptures from all sorts of mediums but I always did these things on my own. I usually played with them on my own too.
Now I am older and I am still the same. I like to be the sole captain of my ship and find teamwork a strain. I like to be in control of every aspect of what I am responsible for delivering. I can be the life and soul of a party but only for a limited period while I am enjoying myself. Once the gilt has worn off the proverbial gingerbread, I want to go back to my own things and be left in peace to do them. That is how I manage to produce so much in the limited time available to me. I focus with complete attention on the task at hand, whether it be work, blogging, writing promotional material or writing. I don’t hear or see anything outside of my creative or work world when I am in it.
My sister says it is bad for my soul. I should not be so obsessive and spend so much time alone. She is especially concerned when I write ghost and murder stories that it is bad for me and that it will attract negative vibes to my family. She may be right but it is unlikely that I could change my behaviour, even if I wanted to, which I don’t. It is in my make up to be obsessive and focused. It makes me a jolly good worker. I have also passed it on and now I have an obsessive and focused son to keep me company. We work side by side in quiet companionship without disturbing each other. Two lonely souls.
This post was written for Linda G Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday. You can join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-16-19/